Where do I start? Three weeks feels like an eternity as of late. My life has been more of a side to side instead of up and downs. I've been dodging most of life's blows. Instead of going along for the ride I got off because the road was getting slippery. I've been able to see clearer as of late and I am forever grateful for the vision I've been given. I can't paint a picture of my future just yet, but I can tell you the immediate future. It includes focusing on my sobriety and work.
I made it to my year sober on February 18th, 2014. I went to two meetings to celebrate this milestone. It was a modest celebration for me for a couple reasons. First and foremost, as great as this attempt in sobriety has been, I am not content with my own personal efforts towards it, but we preach progress over perfection so I can't beat myself over that. Second, my previous stint in sobriety was in the upwards of three and a half years. But those are just numbers. My current year and counting is leaps and bounds better than any of my previous attempts. My goals for the next six months until I get my 18 month chip are to get in to the book and the steps more. Those have always been difficult for me. I've been working with others but not exactly the way I am supposed to according to AA. I've got many friends who find me as a blessing in their lives but they are the blessings in my life. I've had a lot of moments in the last few days where everything is clicking so to speak and I can see clearly and I'll continue to pray for that. It's an amazing out of body experience!
Am I acting as God would act? Not only in my sobriety but also in the workplace and life in general? No. I will never be "God", but it's not a bad idea to try and act like him in this sense. I haven't been taking work so seriously as of late. I've taken days off here and there to have an extra day to spend with friends for the most part, even though the last two days I took off were to celebrate my sobriety birthday. I got a verbal warning the other day regarding my attendance. My six month probation is up March 14th which is right around the corner and I need to be in a full sprint heading in to this date instead of putting it on Cruise Control. A friend thought of me when a former boss asked him if he knew anyone who was looking for a server like position, preferably someone who can whip his current servers in to shape so to speak. It couldn't have come at a better time, allowing me to realize the potential I have as well as the earned respect of others through my work habits and knowledge of my workplace.
A lot of my friends have asked me how am I doing lately due to a post regarding me keeping my distance from the social media apps. My response to all of you is I'm exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing at the current time. It's great to be able to slam on the brakes and analyze your surroundings and your direction. I'm just about done with my analysis stage, and am ready to go full steam ahead yet again.
I've created an attraction. People want what I've got. By that I mean they want the happiness, the simplicity I make of life, the humility I see life with. It's all been a blessing. Though some feel as if they have failed me because they feel they're not good enough, can't keep up with me at my pace, aren't ready, you name it. Understand this, I have always played organized sports and I am a TEAM player. That means if I need to slow down for you to not leave you behind then I will. You may not see a greatness I see in you but that's OK. One day you WILL be able to put all that negativity aside and be able to look in the mirror and smile sincerely! Life unfortunately happens on its own terms, but I can help you when you cant seem to help yourself. Why do I help so many so often?
I'm being selfish. Helping others helps me just as much. IF I can't help others then what's the point? Then I truly am selfish and this world has too many selfish assholes full of negativity. Usually these are the ones talking shit behind your back. Leave them be. They're behind you for a reason.
The sunset is beautiful in the rear view mirrors, but there are no words to describe the sunrise in front of you. Keep moving forward no matter what and make that rising sun your life. Rise and shine and smile and emit rays of feel good Vitamin D! You never know the impact you may have on someones life, so why not make sure it's a positive one!
The Yoey loves you all =)
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Friday, February 7, 2014
Girls
They bother me.
They post about they want a guy that does this this this and that and you go down the list checking every item off and you're like sweet! Then you confront them and they're like no, we couldn't, I don't want to ruin our friendship... Please! You were just crying about how you don't have a man for Valentines Day, you want a guy to love you, treat you right, cuddle, surprise you, go out of his way for you, make you laugh and smile, be a shoulder to cry on, etc... I don't know how many women I've encountered like this personally lately. Like I said, y'all bother me. Don't be asking for things you don't want. Don't be that family on the roof tops in a flood telling every boat that comes by that you're going to be OK because God is sending you a Helicopter....Your opportunities are literally passing you by, and you're going to drown, alone.... I wish y'all the best. Go Dodgers!
They post about they want a guy that does this this this and that and you go down the list checking every item off and you're like sweet! Then you confront them and they're like no, we couldn't, I don't want to ruin our friendship... Please! You were just crying about how you don't have a man for Valentines Day, you want a guy to love you, treat you right, cuddle, surprise you, go out of his way for you, make you laugh and smile, be a shoulder to cry on, etc... I don't know how many women I've encountered like this personally lately. Like I said, y'all bother me. Don't be asking for things you don't want. Don't be that family on the roof tops in a flood telling every boat that comes by that you're going to be OK because God is sending you a Helicopter....Your opportunities are literally passing you by, and you're going to drown, alone.... I wish y'all the best. Go Dodgers!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
353 days Sober and counting...
Today is day 3 of no Chewing Tobacco, and though at times I get the urge to go buy some, I don't. I'm using the help of a Vape and am using minimal Nicotine to get out of the physical habit and the chemical dependency. So far, it's working, and I'm having to use the Vape less and less.
A lot has happened since my last post, and a lot has happened since. I've refrained from posting every time so that on a day like today I can post what really matters.
I've been praying every night, about so much, but mainly asking God to relieve me from trying to control so much and allow his guidance to take me where I'm supposed to be. Praying has given me a great inner peace with myself. I feel better in so many ways throughout the days and am able to get more done each and every day.
I find myself making impacts in lives I didn't intend to have an impact on and even ones where I tried to have an impact on. It's a great feeling to be looked up to and it's very humbling. I don't do it for praise of any sort, I do it from my heart, and for the fact that this makes me be held accountable for my actions. In turn, when I'm helping others, they're also helping me be better and stronger.
As far as some of my facebook posts, they can be misleading. I may come off as needy, lacking confidence, emo, etc... I post about things like I don't have anyone, or need a cuddle buddy... These posts are meant to be playful to some extent. I say to some extent because I'm not in need, but naturally I would like those things very much, but in no means am I in need, desperate or even "Thirsty".
As far as communications with my ex and anything else regarding her. I'm not going to waste your time and/or mine blogging about her anymore unless it is significant. I've got my thoughts and feelings about her life but that has no room here. I still pray for her safety and well being as I do for a lot of my friends and family and even the strangers I come across. With all that being said, we're never getting back together, NEVER, but I still wish nothing bad upon her. Moving on.
I have made a decision to live my life positively and to try and think about my actions various times if necessary before making an action/statement. I'm creating a brand for myself that only targets myself. I'm not inconsiderate of others but in reality, it only matters that I'm willing to buy what I'm trying to sell to myself.
Some things you may consider doing that I like to do to have a positive impact on the world regardless if someone is watching or not:
-Open a door for someone
-Pick up a piece of trash and dispose of it properly
-Offer someone your assistance just because you can
-Smile
-Reach out to someone who may be shy and ask them how their day is going/was. Create a conversation and wish them well with a smile and maybe even a hug or a good handshake.
These are some little things that could not only impact someones mood, but also even save a life. Never underestimate the power of a smile and a kind heart, it goes a long way. How far will your smile and heart take you today?
A lot has happened since my last post, and a lot has happened since. I've refrained from posting every time so that on a day like today I can post what really matters.
I've been praying every night, about so much, but mainly asking God to relieve me from trying to control so much and allow his guidance to take me where I'm supposed to be. Praying has given me a great inner peace with myself. I feel better in so many ways throughout the days and am able to get more done each and every day.
I find myself making impacts in lives I didn't intend to have an impact on and even ones where I tried to have an impact on. It's a great feeling to be looked up to and it's very humbling. I don't do it for praise of any sort, I do it from my heart, and for the fact that this makes me be held accountable for my actions. In turn, when I'm helping others, they're also helping me be better and stronger.
As far as some of my facebook posts, they can be misleading. I may come off as needy, lacking confidence, emo, etc... I post about things like I don't have anyone, or need a cuddle buddy... These posts are meant to be playful to some extent. I say to some extent because I'm not in need, but naturally I would like those things very much, but in no means am I in need, desperate or even "Thirsty".
As far as communications with my ex and anything else regarding her. I'm not going to waste your time and/or mine blogging about her anymore unless it is significant. I've got my thoughts and feelings about her life but that has no room here. I still pray for her safety and well being as I do for a lot of my friends and family and even the strangers I come across. With all that being said, we're never getting back together, NEVER, but I still wish nothing bad upon her. Moving on.
I have made a decision to live my life positively and to try and think about my actions various times if necessary before making an action/statement. I'm creating a brand for myself that only targets myself. I'm not inconsiderate of others but in reality, it only matters that I'm willing to buy what I'm trying to sell to myself.
Some things you may consider doing that I like to do to have a positive impact on the world regardless if someone is watching or not:
-Open a door for someone
-Pick up a piece of trash and dispose of it properly
-Offer someone your assistance just because you can
-Smile
-Reach out to someone who may be shy and ask them how their day is going/was. Create a conversation and wish them well with a smile and maybe even a hug or a good handshake.
These are some little things that could not only impact someones mood, but also even save a life. Never underestimate the power of a smile and a kind heart, it goes a long way. How far will your smile and heart take you today?
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