Where do I start? Three weeks feels like an eternity as of late. My life has been more of a side to side instead of up and downs. I've been dodging most of life's blows. Instead of going along for the ride I got off because the road was getting slippery. I've been able to see clearer as of late and I am forever grateful for the vision I've been given. I can't paint a picture of my future just yet, but I can tell you the immediate future. It includes focusing on my sobriety and work.
I made it to my year sober on February 18th, 2014. I went to two meetings to celebrate this milestone. It was a modest celebration for me for a couple reasons. First and foremost, as great as this attempt in sobriety has been, I am not content with my own personal efforts towards it, but we preach progress over perfection so I can't beat myself over that. Second, my previous stint in sobriety was in the upwards of three and a half years. But those are just numbers. My current year and counting is leaps and bounds better than any of my previous attempts. My goals for the next six months until I get my 18 month chip are to get in to the book and the steps more. Those have always been difficult for me. I've been working with others but not exactly the way I am supposed to according to AA. I've got many friends who find me as a blessing in their lives but they are the blessings in my life. I've had a lot of moments in the last few days where everything is clicking so to speak and I can see clearly and I'll continue to pray for that. It's an amazing out of body experience!
Am I acting as God would act? Not only in my sobriety but also in the workplace and life in general? No. I will never be "God", but it's not a bad idea to try and act like him in this sense. I haven't been taking work so seriously as of late. I've taken days off here and there to have an extra day to spend with friends for the most part, even though the last two days I took off were to celebrate my sobriety birthday. I got a verbal warning the other day regarding my attendance. My six month probation is up March 14th which is right around the corner and I need to be in a full sprint heading in to this date instead of putting it on Cruise Control. A friend thought of me when a former boss asked him if he knew anyone who was looking for a server like position, preferably someone who can whip his current servers in to shape so to speak. It couldn't have come at a better time, allowing me to realize the potential I have as well as the earned respect of others through my work habits and knowledge of my workplace.
A lot of my friends have asked me how am I doing lately due to a post regarding me keeping my distance from the social media apps. My response to all of you is I'm exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing at the current time. It's great to be able to slam on the brakes and analyze your surroundings and your direction. I'm just about done with my analysis stage, and am ready to go full steam ahead yet again.
I've created an attraction. People want what I've got. By that I mean they want the happiness, the simplicity I make of life, the humility I see life with. It's all been a blessing. Though some feel as if they have failed me because they feel they're not good enough, can't keep up with me at my pace, aren't ready, you name it. Understand this, I have always played organized sports and I am a TEAM player. That means if I need to slow down for you to not leave you behind then I will. You may not see a greatness I see in you but that's OK. One day you WILL be able to put all that negativity aside and be able to look in the mirror and smile sincerely! Life unfortunately happens on its own terms, but I can help you when you cant seem to help yourself. Why do I help so many so often?
I'm being selfish. Helping others helps me just as much. IF I can't help others then what's the point? Then I truly am selfish and this world has too many selfish assholes full of negativity. Usually these are the ones talking shit behind your back. Leave them be. They're behind you for a reason.
The sunset is beautiful in the rear view mirrors, but there are no words to describe the sunrise in front of you. Keep moving forward no matter what and make that rising sun your life. Rise and shine and smile and emit rays of feel good Vitamin D! You never know the impact you may have on someones life, so why not make sure it's a positive one!
The Yoey loves you all =)
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